Senior journal #3--One Scene With Extra Cheese, Please

I'll proudly pronounce that no real cheese tastes better than Velveeta, the processed food substitute that to me, outcheeses the real thing. You could slop on that velvety yellow goo on anything, even broccoli, and you'll get my taste buds standing at attention. Put it on a Geno's cheese steak in South Philly, and well, my buds are marching while my jaws are munching.

My plebeian, if not bad, taste, does not begin and end with food. Quote Shakespeare if you want to impress the OTHER English teachers 'round here; I'm a sucker for a cheesy movie line. The cheesy movie line, like its Velveeta metaphorical counterpart, isn't REAL, but boy is it GOOOOOOD.

Come on. Admit it. When you're watching a movie for the umpteeth time, you patiently wait for your favorite cheesy bits of dialogue just so you can smile, or roll on the floor, pump your fist, or grow sad, or even emote a real, truly heartful "awwwww." It doesn't matter that the lines seem so unrealistic, so contrived, so Hollywood. They still work.


So you say you need some examples?

"You had me at hello." (Renee Zelwegger, said to Tom Cruise, in Jerry Maguire) How did this girl so easily forgive the caddy Tom Cruise? Maybe it was his equally cheese-worthy profession of love to her, "You complete me."

"No one puts Baby in the corner!" (Patrick Swayze to Baby's dad in Dirty Dancing) Wow, man. Chill. OK, we'll find a better seat for Baby. No, you're not going up on stage to dance, too. You're a wild man. Swayze continues to heap on the sauce: "I do the last dance every year, and I'm going to do it again this year. Except I'm going to do it my way." I'm writing this one in my journal to prove to myself that I can do ANYTHING.

"I'm the King of the World." (Leonardo DiC in The Titanic) Dream on, Leo. Tomorrow morning you'll still be down below with the rest of the hired help. Or going down with a sinking ship.

Even so-called "real" mobster movies aren't exempt. In The Godfather, for example, a chubby hit man by the name of Clemenza blows out someone's brains and instructs his gang: "Leave the gun, take the cannolis." This man has a cast iron heart and a stomach to match.

And my favorite, which some day I'll show you in class, goes like this: "I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her." Playing the role of a world famous movie star in Notting Hill, world famous movie star Julia Roberts (shoulder length red hair, baby blue cardigan sweater, OK I've seen this more than once) lays this line on a simple British bookshop owner, Hugh Grant, who then turns HER down. Double unrealistic.

Dialogue in movies, drama, and prose, for that matter, isn't always very realistic. That's the great illusion. No one we know would ever talk like this, but we also know that we want our characters to talk EXACTLY like this. Good dialogue may sometimes get a little cheesy, but at least it is NOT ordinary. To me, the trick is to write extraordinary, fascinating, or at least, interesting dialogue, and make it SEEM entirely natural for the situation. The pros, in any profession, make the difficult look easy: Ryan Howard hits a home run. Pavarotti hits the high notes.

When you read, watch drama, film, or TV, listen carefully to the dialogue and then think about its purpose within its scene. It creates character, conflict, dramatic tension, moves the plot along, or makes us laugh, cry, and get angry. It sounds real although we know it's completed fabricated. F. Scott Fitzgerald once said that all fiction is about character, but to me, it's dialogue that makes or breaks a good story.

Assignment: Tell me your favorite movie lines, their cinematic origins, their speakers, and why you love them so much in 25 blog lines or 200 words or more. Your writing can be heavy on the cheesy lines and light on the explanation or vice-versa, but I don't want mere lists.

Soph Green Class Vocab Unit 2

Before class on Friday ...

Post your sentences using your vocabulary word correctly, giving a clue to the meaning of the word within your sentence.

Of course, identify yourself according to your initials.

e.g. Finding strength in numbers, we formed a coalition to demand better food service at our college's cafeteria.

And don't forget ...

Soph Blue Class Vocab Unit 2

Before class on Friday ...

Post your sentences using your vocabulary word correctly, giving a clue to the meaning of the word within your sentence.

Of course, identify yourself according to your initials.

e.g. Finding strength in numbers, we formed a coalition to demand better food service at our college's cafeteria.

Sophs #2 journal---Life in the Fast Lane

I'm driving 65 mph on I-495, cars whizzing by me like I'm standing still. Two guys darting in and out of traffic like it's some video game chase--I can only imagine how fast they're going. I'm on the gas just to keep up with the flow, the left foot covering the pedal,just in case . . ., momentarily reverting to what Mr. Shaw instructed back in my tenth grade driver's ed class.

Then comes the inevitable question from the backseat driver, who actually occupies the other seat in the front.

"Are you using cruise control?"

"No," I answer curtly.

"Why not? Doesn't your foot get tired?" the passenger harps.

I then begin my rant on the dangers of cruise control.

Clicking on the cruise control does prevent tired, cramping feet. However, it has its problems, too. For one, it lulls you into a false sense of security, and the feet usually get further and further away for both the gas AND the brake pedals. At that point, how much control do I really have?

Like my car, my life isn't often in cruise control. I hope I'm the one in charge as much as I can be (and without being a "control freak"). I realize I'm driving on a path that's been traveled on before, but as long as I'm the one making the decisions, I'll take that route, common as it might be.

How are you navigating through life? Do you have the "petal to the metal" or "both hands on the wheel at 10 before 2?" Are you darting in and out of traffic, or do you stay in the right lane, only getting in the left lane to occasionally pass? Do you prefer I-95 or would you rather take the more scenic route? Do you stop completely at stop signs and look in all four directions, or are you a "Hollywood Stop" guy or gal (you know, a quick pump on the brake and you're gone--NOT recommended by your St. Mark's driving teacher, of course)? Are you easily distracted by the billboards and other advertising signs outside of commercial business, or can you get from point A to point B without making a single stop?

Here's your assignment:

Choose between these two assignments:

1. Tell me, in some elaborate, extended metaphor (conceit), what your life is like.

2. Make any far-fetched, comparison (conceit) like the ones I read in class: going to a family reunion is like channel surfing cable television; love is like white water rafting; my father is a toaster.

For some good examples, check the September 2008 archives and read the comments for "The Dangers of Cruise Control."

Seniors journal #2--Seeing the Extraordinary in the Ordinary (Seniors)

Your first assigned short story, The Lucid Eye in Silver Town, is a partially autobiographical account of its author, the young John Updike. Jay, the young boy in the story, is from some "hick town" in PA, as his father says in his sad, self-deprecating manner; Updike himself hailed from Shillington, a small town close to Reading, PA. Before he passed away last January at the age of 76, Updike was still reading and writing as much as ever.

Once a young man frustrated with a stalled career as a cartoonist, he tried his hand at fiction. His description of his first effort to write should encourage those of you who are intimidated or insecure in your own ability: "It's like sort of a horse you don't know is there, but if you jump on the back there is something under you that begins to move and gallop. So it's clearly a wonderful imaginary world that you enter when you begin to write fiction."

Updike went on to achieve the rare daily double of both popular and literary success, his novels read equally on airplanes and in college classrooms. His greatest gift was his ability to make us care about everyday people doing everyday things, a trait that makes him particularly American, this celebration of the common man.

Visit this webpage and read the Updike interview. Well, as much or as little as you need to in order to respond to this prompt:

Respond to any one or some of Updike's answers in this interview. He talks about a variety of subjects: his childhood, his experience with teachers, his early appreciation of reading, his writing theories, teaching a creative writing class, the American Dream, etc. You may merely respond in a agree/disagree--like/dislike manner OR relate his (and your) responses to "The Lucid Eye in Silver Town."

This represents one exercise in the "critical" side of the course. You might not find this journal or Updike's interview particularly exciting, but I'm hoping that you at least find it insightful. Let's face it. When was the last time you read serious musings on fiction from a serious writer of fiction?

Remember, 25 blog lines or 200 words.

Sophs & Seniors--Always Remember

Please read. This is NOT an assigned journal entry. You MAY respond to me or to one another. There is no specific writing prompt.

Just as I (and maybe your parents) can remember where we were when we heard of John F. Kennedy's assassination. . . . Just as your great-grandparents can recall the exact moment when news first broke of the Pearl Harbor attack. . . . Now you have a day burned just as deeply into your memory.

You tenth graders were nervous second graders. You seniors undoubtedly confident fourth graders. All over Pike Creek Valley, all over the East Coast, it was a beautiful day that belied the horror that was to come.

The world changed that day, at least our worlds changed, here in America. Our peaceful, protected, way of life crumbled when the towers fell.

I remember the days after 9-11 living in, if not, fear, then in at least extreme apprehension. Would there be more terror attacks? If so, of what type? Could we really protect ourselves with enough duct tape and plastic to withstand a "dirty" nuclear bomb? Was our mail system polluted with anthrax, and if so, who was the next target? Did we really ever want to get on an airplane again? Or travel to New York City? Or go to any event where large groups of people congregated?

I know that my reaction to that tragedy influenced everything that I did for the following months. My eyes were glued to the television set for news, mostly for assurance, for hope, that things were not as bad as they seemed. For the most part, as each day passed without additional tragedy, I felt a gradual sense of relief, calm, and safety living in America again.

Having seen the images in New York, having heard the many stories of bravery, I developed a keener sense of respect and admiration for firefighters, policemen, and emergency workers of all types. My brother-in-law is a Wilmington policeman, a kind man, a gentle loving father of three boys. When he's in uniform with his police radio and weapon, however, he's something altogether different. He's a defender of my city, a protector of the innocent, in pursuit of "bad guys" who would drive drunk, burglarize my home, or worse yet, commit acts of terror in our country. He and many others like him do this so that you can write responses to questions in your journal, so that I can correct errors in dangling participles and wrong tenses, and so that we can try to return to the nicer, safer, more peaceful way of the world that we knew before September 11, 2001. His daily sacrifice resonates more deeply in light of the recent tragedy in which a Georgetown, DE policeman was killed pursuing a criminal.

Eight years later, we do not forget the heroes that fell then. Hopefully, we continue to recognize the heroes that rise and work to protect us now. Prayerfully, we ask God for an end to the violence that plagues our towns and our world.

Relax! Comment Moderation is Enabled

Your comments won't show immediately because I have to approve them first.

By the way, do you recognize the passive voice sentence in the blog entry title?

Comment moderation is enabled.

Even though "voice" is a verb characteristic, in a passive voice sentence,it is the subject of the sentence that is really "passive," or inactive.

Who enabled the comment moderation? The title of the blog gives us no clue, but you know that Mr. Fiorelli is the man behind the curtain.

The title could read "Comment moderation is enabled by Mr. Fiorelli." The "by Mr. Fiorelli" is either not important or understood, so it's left out. In this case, passive voice is completely acceptable. All you need to know is that "comment moderation is enabled."

A passive voice verb can be recognized (hmm, more passive lurking in this sentence) by the combination of a form of "to be" plus the past participle.

"Is" is a form of "be." "Enabled" is the past participle of the verb, to enable.

Passive voice is often found (double hmm) on the SAT writing section as an example of poor writing STYLE. On the SAT, given a choice, always choose passive voice as an error. However, passive voice is NOT a grammatical error. Passive voice de-emphasizes the subject performing the action and places emphasis on the direct object, the receiver of the action, not always a good thing.

For instance, in the sentence, "The Nobel Peace Prize for Literature was won by the gifted author John Fiorelli for his blog, Schoolsville," the passive voice emphasizes the "prize,"but NOT the gifted author. A better sentence would be the active voice, "The gifted author John Fiorelli won the Nobel Peace Prize for Literature for his blog, Schoolsville." In this sentence, the subject, John Fiorelli, is active. HE won the award. Let's give him proper recognition (AKA "props").

The bunny in the political cartoon used passive voice (he's saying "Mistakes were made") since he didn't want to reveal the agent who made the mistakes, though it's clearly obvious that he is the culprit. Ah, politicians and their slimy use of rhetoric to conceal the truth. Try this at home. "No, mom, my room was not cleaned" or "No, Dad, the trash was not taken out."

Still can't recognize passive voice? Well, there's a mini-lesson coming to your class real soon. Meanwhile, copy and paste the contents of this post into a word document and grammar check the document. At least three sentences (make that four now) should be recognized as passive voice sentences.

Sophs journal #1--Your Favorite Work of Art

For your first journal response, I want you write about your favorite work of art here at Schoolsville. You might want to consider this a "warm up" to the final essay due Sept. 17. However, you may choose to write about something else for the final essay if you develop another "favorite."

Complete this blog/journal response before Thursday, September 10. Remember, I recommend that you write your response in a Word document, save it, and then copy and paste it as a response. Eventually, I will collect all of your "blog/journal" responses at the end of each marking period as a graded assignment.

Be more succinct than you will be in your essay--here write a minimum of 25 blog comment lines or 200 words (your essay should be 3-4 typed pages).


At Schoolsville, you probably want to respond to these prompts:

1. What IS your favorite work of art?

2. Tell me about it. Give a brief description.

3. Why is it your favorite work? Does it make you "think" or "feel"? Briefly explain.

To get an idea of how to respond properly to this blog, check out the archives for September 2008 and read some of the 76 responses made by last year's sophomores to this blog entry.

The image that you're viewing is of Van Gogh's Starry Night, one of my personal favorite "works of art."

Seniors Journal #1---Personal Essay Warmup

Young writers who don't feel as if they have anything to say to the world actually do. You do, too.

In your short 17 or so years on Planet Earth you have already experienced people and events that have touched you to the core, that have molded your image, that have changed your life. If you try to deny this, then answer this question--are you anything remotely like the helpless, crawling, bawling, slobbering infant that lay in the crib? Someone encouraged you to walk, talk, and close your mouth when you ate your food. Someone, and some key events in your life, that undoubtedly involved other people, helped you to become the miracle merging of body and soul that is you.

Here's the journal assignment: briefly (25 blog lines or 200 words) tell us here at Schoolsville about a person or event that deeply effected your life. Save the entire story (if you wish) for your personal essay (3-4 pages typed) that's due September 15. Consider this your warm up writing exercise for that final paper.

In sharing your experience, you'll be participating in bettering the human race. That's right. You'll be educating the entire world community here at Schoolsville, a world that could stand to learn that no two people, let alone races, religions, or nations, are exactly alike. The world can learn from your story, or at least begin to develop some much needed emotions of empathy or sympathy. Wouldn't you be interested in reading how some Afghan teen, his country ravaged by foreign and civil wars, responds to the same writing prompt that you've just been given? Would his paper help you to understand his hopelessness, his fear, his distrust of foreigners?

OK, I'm only pretending that the existence of Schoolsville, or the completion of your personal essay paper, is vital to the future of the human race. But the point of my exaggeration is this. Reading what others have to say is important, whether they live on the other side of the globe or in the neighboring cul-de-sac. Understanding them might help us to decide if we want to invade their country or invite them to our Labor Day barbeque. Communication with others is the first "baby step" in learning how to get along. If we can't "walk in someone's shoes," then at least we should be willing to slip on someone's sandals and wiggle our toes for a spell. We might learn that everyone in the world is not wearing the same 9 1/2 B's.

Respond here before Friday, Sept. 10. Essay is due Sept. 15.