(3rd journal-3rd quarter) Parents Gone Too Far?
Nathaniel Hawthorne's Rappaccini's Daughter explored the danger to mankind of "science gone too far" in the character of the retired botanist who created an Edenic prison for his flower-child daughter by separating her (with poison) from the real world. Sound unlikely? Not if you understand the symbolism of the allegory.Check out this link at Dr. Phil.com that contains three articles (and links to many others) that detail real examples of parents just as obsessive as Dr. Rappaccini. Do parents like these also imbue their children with "poison" that makes it impossible for them to live in the real world?
You can write about these examples or provide ones of your own to agree, disagree, or recommend caution with the actions of these pushy parents.
posted by JTF @ 8:59 AM
63 comments
63 Comments:
Well lets see here. I think i have a few stories of my own about my parents trying to live through me. Well to start off my dad is rather short. And He always tried to play basketball but he was never tall enough, so he really pushed me because of my height advantage. Also with baseball, he seemed to do the same. I was always bigger and stronger than most kids, so when i pitched i threw alot faster and harder and hit alot harder and farther than most kids. So i eventaully got tired of both sports and stopped playing both because it was just getting to be too much and just too much of my time. I couldnt even be a normal kid! So i think it is terrible for parents to force their kids to do anything. Sports are supposed to be about fun and enjoyment, but sometimes it gets taken to far and talent is wasted.
I chose to do the article about the 22-month-old "superkid". I dont agree at all with this because the parents should be raising there kid the normal way. I think it is stupid that the kid's parents are pushing him to be a "superkid" and teaching him things that he should be learning many years from now. I don't think it was smart of them to spend thousands of dollars on Baby Einstein videos, making their house free of mold and mildew, and adding a water purification system so she's bathing in safe water. Also, it is very dumb to teach your kid Spanish and sign language when he or she is not even 2 years old. I agree with Dr. Phil's phrase, "It robs her of a sense of competency. It can rob her of a lot of things."
I think that all parents, at some point in their childrens' lives, try to live through their children. My aunt, for example, pushes my seven year old cousin to participate in almost everything. I think as children grow up, their parents should support them in everything they choose to do, instead of forcing them to do things they don't want to. My cousin does several sports, girls scouts, and plays a few different instruments, and she is only seven years old. I think that my aunt is pressuring her daughter to do too much, and I sympathize for her. No child, especially at that young age, should feel any kind of pressure whatsoever.
I think the Dr. Phil's "superkid" article is interesting. The child's name is Madelyn. The parents are buying all these "baby genius" videos and are already trying to teach her counting. The parents already have learning spanish and sign language. Worst of all, the parents are making her a vegan. They wont even let her have some of her immunizations because some of the shots have animal ingredients. This little girl is only 22-months old. I think the parents have gone way overboard. I can understand that every parents wants their child to be the smart one in school, but you can't play God. You need to back off and let kids be kids. And if they do well in school, good for them. I'm not a parent myself so I'm sure my advice probably wouldn't even be considered. Although, I used to be a kid and I know for sure that if my parents hindered me like that I would be the same person I am today. By letting me out of the house and letting me do what I want (to a certain extent) I learned from my mistakes and mishaps. I think parents are there to set boundaries , but they should be loose enough the child can get a "good size slice of pie". In the case of the little girl, Madelyn, I think her parents probably didn't do well in school or saw someone else fail and never wanted to see their child go through that hardship. But that's what life is all about, going through hardships. Although those tough times break you down, you still live. You stand up, learn from that mistake, and continue life with that knowledge.
Parents. They can be adored by some and loathed by others. After reading the stories including Dr. Phil, I was slightly disgusted. I understand that most of those parents just want their children to succeed and do well in life, but they have gone way past the line of sanity. I enjoyed reading the story about the so called "child-prodigy". The parents weren't too high strung but they obviously steered their son into music and tried to make him into their favorite artist. I am involved in a music program outside of school and I have met very many parents that think their son or daughter is the going to be the next or something (they usually aren't). I think that some parents become too absorbed with their "creations" that they forget that their own child might have their own aspirations. Smothering their children will not help them in their future. They will most likely get picked on and be inside their own little happy bubble. The best way for children to grow up into wonderful people is by being influenced by the people they meet. If all they know are their parents, I do not know how they will be socially ready to accomplish their or their parents dreams. From a simple view, these parents are spoiling their kids. No child who is still a toddler should be on a strict diet with an activity plan. That can't be healthy. I think that all of these parents just need to calm down and give their children some breathing room so they can blossom into young individuals that are capable of being themselves.
It is all too common in this day and age for parents to try to live through their children. A kid on my baseball team a few years ago hated baseball, and he was horrible at it, and wanted to quit. His father was a great player in high school, or so he said and always wanted to assist in coaching. However the team already had enough coaches. This kid's father was pushing his son into doing something that the father wanted to again but the son wanted nothing to do with. This kid's dad would call his son over in the middle of games to give him directions, eventually he was banned from the bleachers. But his son played left field so the man would park his pickup truck and drink beer while his son played. One night his kid struck out looking, and the dad, probably intoxicated jumped over the outfield fence and started screaming at his son for playing badly. There is no way the father could have seen the pitch from his position but still acted like he knew what was going on. The coach was forced to kick the kid off the team and ban the father from the park. This incident shows how living thruogh your child is a horrible way of parenting.
I disagree with pushy parents trying to make their child the "grestest". I think that part of growing up is experiencing things for yourself, having friends, and choosing how to spend your time however you want too. If your parents have your whole life planned out before your born, how could you possibly like it?
Maybe their kid is'nt naturally an amazing athlete but the parents push him/her past their limits to the point where their kids are depressed, discouraged and consider themselves "failures" because they cant make their parents proud. I think pushy parents make kids feel inadequate, and can cause real physcological problems. For example, on Dr. Phill's website it says how the parents who are trying to make the their child a superkid are even putting their marriage on the line. Dont you think their child would be better off growing up like an ordinary kid & with both his parents around instead of having them go through divorce? Adults had their times to be superstar atheletes in highschool or win the math league championships. Just because that was their dream, it dosent mean it has to be their childrens dream.
In life I do believe it is important to be goal oriented, but not to the extent where others make fun of you, criticize your way of life, and give up on everything else in life just to excel in one area. But this is what these parents are forcing their children to do, and at such an early age. From having their children learn at a second language before the age of two, enrolling then in a tumbling class before the child can even walk. I think that it is unhealthy for these children to grow up like this, not physically but mentally. They will not be able to mature and grow socially when they become involved in something such as school. A good example of this is Barry, the musical prodigy, who is teased and mocked every time he steps out of his home. Another instance where parents tend to obsess and over involve themselves in their child’s life are pageant moms. They are overbearing and sometimes don’t do things because their child will love it, but because they themselves are looking for a thrill or they just want to further themselves not only socially, but financially. So of course I am against parents trying to turn their kids into a "musical prodigy" or a so called "super kid" , they should just be happy with the way their child is born and love them for who they will grow up to be.
MR Yellow
MR Yellow
I remember a kid that was on my baseball last year and his dad was obsessed with his kid being the best at every position . His dad wanted him to be pitcher even though his kid had no interest in it. The dad forced his son to do it since everyone like a good pitcher but he didn't want to. This got him and his dad in a big argument in front of everyone. This really made his dad angry that because he didn't want to pitch. The dad cared more for what he wanted his son to do than what the kid actually wanted to do. I don't think that trying to force kids into sports is a good thing to do. This could only hurt a kid and make him or her an outcast. I think that it's a good thing to encourage your child to do sports to keep them active but not to force them into something that he or she doesn't want to do. doing something like the father of the kid on baseball team did last year will only embaress the kid and turn him even more away the sport. Parents shold let his or children choose what they want to do not force them onto something.
I think that parents are forcing their kids into too much when I read the three articles. It tells me that they will do whatever they can to make their child be something that they might not necessarily want to be. I totally disagree with trying to make a child at a young age become a musical prodigy, or a superstar athlete. I believe that you should let the kid decide for him or herself and only they have the right to choose what they truly like doing. However, I understand that if it weren’t for the parents, some people wouldn’t be able to do what they love now. I am a good example for that because my mom was the one who introducing dance to me and I love it. She started taking me to ballet classes when I was three and put on classical music to listen to at a young age. I have been dancing since then and I have such a big passion for it. It also educated me a lot about how the body works and how moving your body in a certain way makes you do different things. Also, listening to classical music made me appreciate the different composers and the history during that time. On the other hand though, I strongly disagree with the couple in the article who was trying to “create” a super kid. I think it is absolutely ridiculous to go through so much work and force a young child into such a strict lifestyle. By doing this, the child doesn’t live and learn things for itself. Children need to experience life their own way and not the way their parents want them to.
I lost a best friend due to "Pushy Parents." When I was is fifth grade a girl had just moved into the house next-door to me. We became best friends almost instantly. When I met her parents they seemed very cool, but when I really go to know them I realized that they were trying to make their daughter the best gymnast in the world. My friend was always missing school and could never hang out on the weekends because she was at some competition. As we got older her parents pushed her harder. She was only allowed to eat certain foods and had to practice every day. She told me that when she was younger and she did gymnastics for fun she enjoyed it more than now when she has to be the best. She said that she was scared to tell her mom that she didn’t enjoy gymnastics anymore because she was afraid her mother would become too upset. In eighth grade her parents told her that they were moving because the Competition in Delaware and Pennsylvania wasn’t challenging enough. After she moved we still kept in contact. She would always tell me how much she hated gymnastics and how she just wanted to be a normal teenager. She would tell me that she was failing many classes due to her lack of attendance. In a couple years she moved again and I never saw or heard from her again. I am really upset that i lost my best friend because her parents were very pushy. I am grateful that my parents just ask me to try my best.
In a world full of extremely talented people that the media takes large amounts of time to focus on, it is completely logical for parents to want their kids to grow up to be just as talented. But some parents take it too far. For example: the story about "JJ," whose parents named him that because it sounded like a "good sports" name displays my point exactly. Parents setting their hopes that high for something that isn't set in stone is not a very smart thing to do. Not only are they setting themselves up for dissapointment if the child does not have the same aspirations as they do; they are setting the child up for a life of pressure. I honestly don't think that the parents would want their child to grow up to have stability issues, or communication issues because of the parents.
I disagree with parents that push their children to be the best at something or be amazing at sports. Kids shouldn't do a sport unless they really want to, or else they will end up hating it. Parents shouldn't make their kids participate in everything because they are putting way too much pressure on their kids. People with parents like this are usually very self concious because if they don't do the best at something they know how disappointed their parents will be and they feel like a failure. Parents should let their children make their own decisions or they will never be able to make a decision by themself. I think that parents should stop living through their kids and get a life.
I feel as if parents who push their children to extremes to protect them from the world are robbing their children from living their own lives. They are taking away they children’s ability to think by themselves and make their own decisions. In my opinion, these parents are living the lives that they didn’t get to live through their children. It angers me because these children don’t have a choice. They are being influenced by their parents “poison” at such a young age that they know no other way of life. These over controlling parents claim its their children’s choice whether to continue to pursue these things but when a child doesn’t know how to make their own decisions and knows no other way of life they are unable to make the decision best for them. These kids have been raised to be so dependent on their parents that they probably don’t know how to live in independence. Structure and setting goals for your children are good things but its about balance. If everything is taken to the extreme, their children aren’t living healthy lives. The stress for trying to reach the expectations of their parents can lead to a variety of physical and mental problems. The “poison” that these parents are feeding their children also saddens me because I know they are doing it out of love and trying to protect their loved ones.
Sometimes parents try to live their dreams through their child. My mom’s friend’s parents pushes their kids to the limit. Since they were little kids, their parents dreamed them to be the smartest and well-cultured kids. They were never allowed to eat fast food and never allowed to watch T.V. but only Veggie Tales. They have a schedule of activities and time slots at home they have to follow. Such as playing a classical instrument (no guitar or drums),studying and reading lots of books. They had no time for their own fun and what they want to do. They are not allowed to listen to modern music but only classical and religious. They are trapped and isolated from the rest of world only concentrated on their parents wishes. The parents pushed their kids so far that they want to get out. That’s the consequence of pushing your kids because the kids don’t develop a sense of passion on what they do. Instead, they develop their lifestyle as a wasted repeating habit which makes them not interested and frustrated. For example at the age of 1-2 my parents started teaching me English which is not my native language. They believed that it is a good idea for my future. But in the end, it is all worth it because your parents are pushing you for a reason that helps them and you. That children who got isolated from the world, got a full scholarship to the college of their choice. And if I didn’t learn the English language I would not know how to speak it fluently. Parents have a reason for pushing their children. It just depends if it is a good reason or a bad one. Also if it affects the child in a negative or positive way. But if you push your kids too much that they develop resentment that is when parents should step back. There are limits to everything in this world and pushing your kids to far is one of them.
The story that I thought was very strange was how David and Deandra pushed their child to be a “superkid.” I couldn’t believe that the parents spent thousands of dollars on baby Einstein videos and didn’t even immunize their daughter. If the parents truly want their daughter to be healthy they should immunize her. She will get more sick not be immunized than she will be by having a tiny bit of animal. It is also ridiculous how dependent Madelyn will be when she becomes older. She will most likely not have any social skills and will most likely not have many friends. She might grow up as a super smart person but you can’t get anywhere in life without social skills. Having friends and pursuing a normal life is much more important than pursuing a smart perfect life sleeping in bed with your parents the rest of your life. My parents never really pushed me to do something I didn’t want to do. I will probably live a more gratifying life than Madelyn. At one point my dad did somewhat pushed me to wrestle I tried it for one year and I didn’t like it he wasn’t upset. He respected my decision and just told me to try something else and eventually I will find a sport I liked. Madelyn will be forced by her parens to do what they want the rest of her life.
I do not think that completely sheltering and controlling your children in a good thing for parents to do at all. The most common reason that parents do this is because they have things that they wanted to do in their childhood, but they were unable to. Parents trying to live their dream childhood through their kids. This really hurts the kids because they never learn to make decisions on their own. Now don't get me wrong, kids con not just be turned loose to fend for themselves from the day they are born, parents just need to find that line between nurturing and obsessive. We are starting to have too many overly sheltered kids these days and it is not a good thing.
My parents have tried only once to push me too far. Apparently, they thought I had very good musical and drawing talent. They took advantage of that. In my spare time they signed me up for piano and art class at the community center near my school. I liked art class and drawing, and what's more, I knew I would. But the moment my parents started talking about lessons at the Wilmington Music School, I begged and begged them not to sign me up. Learning music is just plain boring. Despite my protest, they signed me up for piano. For an entire month, I wasted one hour a week in front of the piano. If it wasn't for my teacher, I would have been miserable longer. There was a conference at the end of the month to discuss the student's progress. My teacher told my parents that even though I do have musical talent, I am very bored in class and even she noticed that. After that my parents quit lessons and apologized, sort of. This time they asked me what classes I wanted to take. From that experience, I know what it is like for the children of pushy parents. I am grateful that someone finally made my parents realize that they were being pushy, and I am sorry for the kids who still suffer in piano class because their parents think they will become great musicians.
Parents of today's world are constantly pushing their kids to be something that their kids don't necessarily want to be. There is a fine line being supporting kids and living life for your kids. I think that people should push their children, but they should only push them to do things that they want to do. I think that the parents of the piano player truly supported their child and only wanted what he wanted. I do not think that they were forcing him to continue playing or were to blame for the child’s tough circumstances. I think that the other two families were completely out of control. The parents of the super kid are sucking the individuality right out of the daughter. They are creating her to be the person that they want her to be. If a child’s life is as controlled as hers, how is she supposed to learn how to function in the real world? The parents of the sports fanatic need to understand that life isn’t all about playing sports. Children can develop into great and respectable adults without every playing a sport in their life. If they want their child to be associated with other kids he can do that by joining a club or some type of group. Every child needs to know that their life is their choice and theirs alone. No one can force them to be anyone they do not want to be or do anything that they do not want to do. Their parents have had their chance and now they need to sit back and enjoy the growth that is happening in front of them.
Parents 'poisoning' their child is all too common in recent years. Pushing their children to complete the parents' own dream instead of the child achieving their own. The case of the 22 month old "superkid" was a ridiculous article. Madelyn is barely 2 years old and they have spent thousands of dollars on 'Baby Einstein' videos, and have spent too much time sheltering her by making her too attached to her mom, and soon possibly her dad. What will they do when Madelyn goes to school? I am sure this will devastate Madelyn. If they continue to shelter her like this, Madelyn will have a rude awakening and a hard time coping when she goes out into the world. Continuing to breast-feed Madelyn is ridiculous. I believe that breast-feeding should stop, at the latest, when the child is one year old. Also, having Madelyn sleep with her mother not only is hazardous to her parents' relationship, but also a hazard to Madelyn's health. Deandra could accidently (while sleeping) roll over on Madelyn and crush/suffocate her. Deandra could lead Madelyn to lead a life depending on other people instead of being independent. Another point that I thought was outrageous was that Deandra does not have Madelyn immunized. Making their house mold and mildew free, and purifying the water does not prevent disease that is outside of their house. This could eventually hurt Madelyn if the house is so pure and then she goes into the outside world for school, doctor's appoinments, etc. and is not adapted to certain germs or is immune from certain diseases. Deandra and David's technique of raising their daughter I believe can be just as good as it is harmful and therefore, would not help her move forward in life the way every child should.
After reading these 3 Dr. Phil articles and hearing about other such situations, i've come to completely disagree with the mentality of any parent that acts in the way that these parents that I read about do. A lot of these parents seem to be living their own dreams through their children and refusing to admit to themselves that they are, probably because it's not a very good thing to realize. It even seems like some parents genuinely don't even notice what they are doing to their children. At one point, they will take it too far and the child will stop doing whatever they have been pushed to do and all their efforts would have been in vain. In the end, I just think it's a bad idea for any parent to get that involved in their children's actions where people have to even question their motives.
There is certainly a fine line between parents who motivate a child to do his or her best and parents who live their own dreams through a child. After reading the three articles given I agree about a few things and disagree about the rest. I believe that a child should have some motivation from his or her parents and I also believe that exposing a child to fine art and different languages at a young age is a good thing. However there is definitely a limit. Kids have to be kids and they need to be able to make their own decisions and choices. I believe that in the long run it is only hurting the child to isolate him or her from everyone else and try to make him or her the best at everything. What happens if the child is horrible at a sport even if the parent trained them at a young age? This only sets up disappointment for both the child and parent. What happens if the child absolutely detests playing an instrument that the parent makes him or her play? This will only create a bad relationship with the parent and child. The child needs to control his or her own life.
I don't think it's fair to the kids that they get pushed so much by their parents. They should have a say in what they want to do with their life or what their interests are. Sometimes, more likely than not, the kids would end up hating whatever it is because their parents puhed them so much to like it as an infant. Then, they get disappointed if their children don't fulfill their dream for them. Kids should be able to follow their own dreams and do what they want to do, not be forced to love something because their parents want them to. But it works if the kid ends up liking what his/her parents push on them, like Barry, the musical marvel. I know my mom is starting to push me a little on my grades now so I can phase up and be in some AP classes by my senior year. She's only doing that, though, so they can count as college credits and I don't have to take the class when I get to college, which I understand and I totally agree with her. The bottom line is, allow your kids to grow liking whatever they want and don't push them so hard; they might end up letting you down.
After reading these three articles, I chose to write about Barry, the musical prodigy. Barry’s reason for being on Dr. Phil was that he was being mocked and made fun of because of his amazing talent at playing the piano. I had a hard time relating to this article because I can’t imagine people making fun of someone because they are extremely good at something. The parents say that it was because the children were jealous. Other parents even made rude remarks at Barry and his parents, saying they forced him into playing the piano and that they are living their dream through their kid. If there were a kid like Barry at St. Marks, I would think he would be pretty popular, being on television and in the newspaper often. I don’t know why kids would make fun of him for being great at playing a musical instrument. I don’t believe Barry’s parents imbued him with “poison” at all. Just because the people that live around him don’t accept his talents does not mean that other people won’t. He has a great chance of being extremely successful in the real world, he just has to meet the right people that won’t criticize him.
tv yellow
To be honest my view on this situation is very split. I agree with it sometimes and other times i disagree. In my case, my dad pushed me as a young child to play baseball. But, I didn't have a problem with it cause I naturally love baseball. Therefore, I thank him for pushing me to the subject. That is a curcumstance where I agree with pushing your child into something. But say you push your child into something they don't want to do. Thats when I disagree with it. For example, the story about JJ. What happens if he doesn't like sports? His parents will be devastated. They already have his life planned out for him before he can decide what HE wants to do with his life. Therefore, this topic is very controversial and can sometimes harm or benefit the child.
Parents Gone Too Far?
I chose to write about the “Sports Fanatics” article. After reading this article I was thinking about parents making their kids all about sports before they are to young to decide if they like them or not. In my opinion I think that if you are a parent and you like sports and want your kids to plays sports then sign them up when their young. I think if you sign them for certain things that you like or once did and give them the opportunity to learn and understand what they are exposed to then that could be a way to let kids decide whether they like playing or getting involved in. Also if the kids don’t like it and want to get out of it if you can’t accept that as a parent then try to put yourself in a place where someone was trying to make you do something you didn’t like. Although parents hope their kids will be superstars and all of that they should try experimenting with different sports and activities before so you don’t try to make them do it which could result in arguments and bad attitudes toward sports.
Parents can be very controlling at times. Sometimes, like in "Rappaccini's Daughter", parents aren't thinking of their children when they are making decisions for them. Sometimes, children need a push in the right direction, but children also need freedom and be able to say and do what they feel. After reading the Dr. Phil's article on "the musical
prodigy" I thought it was very interesting and I now understand both points of view. On one hand, the parents might be a little too obsessed with Barry Manilow but they never forced him into playing the piano. I think his parents want him to do what he loves and I think they would support him with no matter what he does. However, saying things like "I'm giving you my son, a gift you cannot comprehend," is a little too much. It's alright to be proud of your child for their talents, but it isn't alright when you are bragging about it to other people. When you do this, other people will not be nice to you. Also, from what their son Barry says, he loves music and how unique he is.
I believe that a “pushy parent” is one that forces his or her child to do something that he or she does not want to, and could possibly live through their child. Sometimes, the children are too young to decide for themselves, such as 22-month-old Madelyn and 8-month-old JJ. In some cases, they may have not been exposed to many other activities, such as 13-year-old Barry. The question is if parents like these imbue their children with "poison" that makes it impossible for them to live in the real world? I believe that the answer is yes, they do. These parents want their child to be the ultimate best, when they should really be supporting their child to be that best that he or she can be. If her parents keep “pushing” her to be a super kid, Madelyn risks dependency on others instead of learning to be independent. I believe that the child needs to learn to be independent to live in the real world which can only come from the support of their parents, the rest of their family, and their friends. JJ’s mother admitted that she “would be devastated” if he told her that he did not want to play sports. Barry plays the piano and composes music by himself, instead of his parents encouraging him to play and compose with a group of kids his age. A “pushy parent”, as in many of these cases, could be wanting their child to be the best. In any case, I think that the child should be exposed to many activities and ideas as possible so that they have the opportunity to decide which they enjoy.
I think you can push your kids sometimes, but it depends on the situation. If a kid isn’t doing anything they might need to get pushed into something, and sometimes they will like it, but in those examples the kids are pushed over the limit. You should let your kids grow up normally and not do anything such as make them weight lift at a young age, forcing them to play a sport they don’t like, and making a kid take classes at a very young age when they should be playing. Those parents went way too far and those kids will probably never feel normal because the way they were risen. It affects their lives as they grow up greatly, in a negative way sometimes. In other cases if a person needs to be motivated into something, sometimes you need to push them. If a person doesn’t know what they want to be in College, a parent might tell them what they are good at and tell them what they can try to do. If you do push your kid it should be because you care for the kid, not because it is what you want to your kid to be. That is wrong to do. This is why I think it is ok to push your kids, but only push them if they need to be pushed and only help them a little, so that they can be the person they want to be.
I would just like to take the chance to disagree with all and any of these stories about parents gone too far. The parents that Dr. Phil talked about may be hurting them more than helping them. These parents are sheltering and isolating their kids from having a normal childhood. All of these stories of super kids, and child prodigee althetes are just things that with further seperate parents children from everybody else. It is ok to be good at a sport but parents shouldnt take it to a point where it is less like fun and more like work. A child should be able to choose what he or she wants to do because that is all part of growing up and learning to make decisions. If parents make decisions for them their whole childhood, then they may rely on whats their parents say for the rest of their lives.It is ok for parents to give their children choices and set boundaries, but they should never completely shut out an opionion that their child has just because its what they want the kid to be doing. If parents backed off of their children and gave them some space to be themselves, they can discover their own talents that may be better than the ones the parents were trying to force.
I thought the article about the 22-month old "super-kid" was really interesting. It seems like they are turning their child into an experiment. I disagree with their methods. Of course every parent wants their child to be smart and talented but i don't think that Madelyn will be able to be her own person with her parents pushing her to be something that she may never be. She is already learning to speak spanish and sign language. She isn't even two and she is already a vegan. I think that is a little ridiculous. She is going to miss out on being a kid and that isn't right. If she ends up being a genius, then thats good for her, but it shouldn't be because of her parents.
Parents today push their children too far to do things. I have a friend on my team whose father constantly pushes her to do things. We will be at tournaments and he will make her eat everytime we have a game break. He always makes her have a bananna or something with protein and potassium in it so she doesn't get tired. He is constantly telling her to go to the Y and tells me that I should come with them so my friend and I can workout together. He says we should train harder and work to get better. I have no problem with going to the gym, I actually enjoy it most of the time, but when he is pushing for us to train like he wants it gets annoying. During the summer in our off season he has her practice in their backyard. He yells alot while we're on the court and always has alot to say about what we've done wrong after our games. I feel like my friend doesn't love the sport as much as she did five years ago when we started playing together and I think this is the cause of her father's pushing.
JUSTIN ROBERT DRUMMOND BLUE
Parents sometimes are so happy they are able to have their own child, that they try and mold that child into something theyre not. This could deal with school, social activiities or sports. Some parents push their kids way to hard to do well in school, leading to the kid not having fun in school, or on the weekends, and dedicating his entire time to non-stop school work. This could lead to fewer friends and life experiences just because he or she is being forced to succeed in school. A parent can also push a kid to become something he is not socially. A parent could make his or her daughter or son good looking or tell them they are ugly, too fat, too skinny to fit in. They could also make them wear certain clothing to make sure their kid is known and liked. This could lead to the kid not enjoying his or her own hobbies or interests and not showing who they truely are as a person. Also, parents can push thier kids to do well in sports. Sometimes the sport they make their kid play isnt even a sport the child likes. This could lead to stress and dedication and commitment which could take away from school or friends or even family. Parents are parents and although all they do is care, some need to learn when to let us be who we are, or who we want to be. They can guide us, but not neccesarily "force" us to become something we are not, or something we never will be. I myself have seen kids fall into each categorie I just discussed, and often see much more difficulty or stress in the life of the kid that is a victim to it.
I know of many pushy parents that i have encountered in my life but the pair that stick out the most are my neighbors. They are by far the most overbearing parents i have ever met. Every night they force their children to study for at least two hours. They are not allowed outside if all of their work is not finished. On the weekends they are stuck inside doing book reports and projects. If they receive a grade of 95 or lower, they are punished and may even find themselves grounded. When they are out to dinner at a restaurant, the parents make the children read books while they are waiting for the food. In my opinion, they are pushing these children way too far and it will soon lead to either retaliation or something worse. The children never have any free time and are rarely allowed to play with friends. They are the most pushy parents I have ever met.
Dr. Phil’s article on Madelyn really interested me. Madelyn is a 22-month old who is being forced by her parents to become a “super kid”. I completely understand that parents want their child to be smart and succeed in school. My parents have pushed me my whole life to do well in school. I believe that Madelyn’s parents are taking it way too far. I do not have a problem with Madelyn’s parents teaching her sign-language and Spanish because I wish I was taught another language when I was younger. However, what I do have a huge problem with is how it seems like Madelyn’s parents care more about the idea of having a “super kid” than they do about what is best for their daughter. Madelyn’s parents also said that they have never left Madelyn for more than two hours and that they want to be there to give her whatever she needs at all times. If Madelyn’s parents keep her in this type of lifestyle, she will never be able to live on her own and provide for herself if she is constantly handed whatever she needs by her parents. I honestly feel bad for Madelyn because her parents are ultimately ruining her life when it has only just begun.
I found the article about the 22 month old "superkid" Madelyn. I think her parents are taking things way too far. By freeing their house of mold and mildew and having a purification system to their daughters bathing water, I think they could be hurting her in the long run. For example, what if she gets older and goes to a friends house? She could get really sick if there is mold or mildew present in the house. As Madelyn gets older she is probably going to have an immense amount of stress on her shoulders and she may not like her parents very much. As far as teaching her another language, I think they should have waited a couple more years. Although it is a language she will probably have to use in school, she probably cannot fully comprehend very much yet and she is probably really confused. I think that her parents should let her do some things like playing around in the yard instead of trying to teach her so much, and maybe leave it for later in life.
Parents can go too far in many ways. One way is in sports and trying to make their kid a superstar athlete. This is what happened to my friend. My friend liked basketball alot when he was younger and he was very good. His dad got him started playing at a very young age and was way too involved. He made my friend start playing in leagues when he was six years old and he made him practice everyday. My friend was the best player on his team even though he was the youngest kid on the team. He would make many good plays but his dad would still scream at him and his other teammates every time they made a mistake, and this was when my friend was eight years old. It only got worse as my friend got older. His dad sent him off to various basketball camps throughout the summer and made him a training schedule he must follow everyday. Sometimes my friend would not be able to come over to my house because he had to train for his next basketball game. My friend hated his dad and eventually hated basketball. He quit it when he was 15 years old
I have decided to write about how David and Dandrea tried to control everything about Madelyn to turn her into a superkid. I believe that doing what they did would end up harming their child more then helping her. The only good thing about being that over protective and overbearing is that it might make the child listen more to the parents, and that the child might try harder to excel at everything she tries. The bad side is that she will never be able to be good friends with others because of how differently she is being raised. Since they are always with her it will not be helpful when she tries to socialize with other kids her own age. It will always be a problem either when they aren’t there or she isn’t used to it or when her parents try to do everything for her and show her how to do everything. So over all it will be harmful for the parents to try so hard and if she disappoints them she will be able to tell how disappointed they are and she will get depressed and that will e even worse for a child.
I read the story of the "superkid" who's parents refused to let her eat meat, get vaccinated, or even be out of their sight for two hours. Her parents controlled every aspect of their 22 month old daughters life. They never let her eat meat or any sort of sugars. The parents were horrible to do that, or at least i think so. My mom has always been pretty care free, letting me stay home alone since i was about 7 or 8, and I've never been to the emergency room or even seriously sick in my entire life. Another thing i don't agree with is the parents forcing their child to be vegan, I occasionally go the California to visit family, and the times I've been i have met some interesting people, including 3 holistic doctors. One i remember vividly talked to us about how the sickest people who come to him are vegans, he says the human body was not meant to live without meat and that muscle deteriorates quickly without it. So overall what the parents are doing is wrong.
I read the story of the superkid, and I strongly disagree with the way that they are raising their child. They don't allow their child to eat anything slightly unhealthy, her schedule is packed everyday, and her parents have never spent more then two hours away from her. I agree with doing these things to a certain point, but they go to a level far beyond what they should do to that girl. She is not even two years old yet! It's great if your child has a talent, but you should not make your child do that certain thing if he or she doesn't want to. By the time Madelyn gets to be 5 years old, she's not going to want to do all these things that she's doing anymore. She'll stop trying and get really stressed out which can end up making her an unhealthy person.
I don't believe that the parents of Barry are being pushy, if they're telling the truth. The parents said that there child had a natural ability for music and he persued it. If I was his parent, I would be doing exactly what they are doing and encourage him to continue with music, but not force him. I also agree with Dr. Phil, in which he should start a band or something like that i order to be more social.
I definitely agree that parents these days are going too far in living their children's lives. For example, freshmen year my parents made me join the soccer team and I had no desire to join the soccer team. They told me they wanted me to do a sport to look good on my college application. I absolutely hated it and begged them to let me quit. After I was grounded multiple times for skipping practice, I was finally allowed to quit. And even though I quit, I still managed to do another sport and am continuing to do it now, spring track throwing. Also, I know a friend whose parents had manipulated him to play sports when his real passion was to play music. He loved music and was really good at playing drums, but his parents hated how loud they were and wanted him to play sports instead. Although, he was pretty good at the sports his parents made him play, he still was not enjoying then. Many other parents that go way too far are child superstars' parents. All they do is separate their children from society and isolate them from what children's lives are supposed to be like. These are some of my thoughts on parents going too far.
I think that it is wrong for parents to completely try to live their child's life for them. I think when parents try to make every decision for their children and tell them exactly what to do, even if they don't want to do it, can be considered "poisioning" them. In the story on the Dr. Phil website about JJ and his parents pushing him to be a sports star when he is only 8 months old is a little crazy. I can understand his parents wanting him to be an athlete and play sports but it's not up to them. It is up to JJ, it's his life and when he's old enough he should be able to decide if he wants to play all those sports. And if he doesn't want to them he shouldn't have it, and his parent's should be devestated by it because he's just doing what he wants to do. Although I think children should be able to do what they want, there is a limit where parents can stop their kid from doing bad things, but not if its something safe that they want to do.
Parents obviously want to see us be successful and achieve our goals. Some parents go a bit too far and begin to force their kids into following goals that they aren't passionate about. Living out a dream through someone else really doesn't help the child like the sport or activity more. Supporting your child and pushing them to make themselves better is what my parents do and it works. However parents who force their kids to work out every day and work too hard to the point that it is bad for them is not healthy. Kids should like the sports they play and should play because they love the sport not because they have to impress their parents and live up to an expectation. A parent should support what ever their child chooses to do and not criticize and push them to follow a dream that isn't theirs.
I believe parents have gone way too far. Parents, of course, love their children and want the best for them but sometimes it gets a little out-of-hand. For example, the 22-month-old “super kid” shows how far parents take things. I think Baby Einstein videos are very helpful for little kids and are a good source of premature education for babies. The parent’s of this super kid took it way to far when they bought every video and made her watch them. But, this is the least of the problem. Having the child learn Spanish and sign-language, when she is not even 2 years old, takes away from her child hood. Also, having her on a strict diet this young is horrible. Eating healthy is a very good part of life but a child should be able to have a piece of candy or cake every once in awhile. The parents of this super kid are convinced they are doing the right thing, when in the long run she will be affect for the worse. She does not get to experience the childhood of an every-day child. Though she is getting a head start for her future education, she is very much slighted her well times being a child. Child hood is one of the most wonderful times of one’s life. Taking this experience away from someone is a shame. Therefore I disagree greatly with these pushy parents in society.
KB Yellow
The thing about this one is that it isn't usually the kids choice, which is sad. Often a dad played sports back in the day and was pretty good but failed to make it. Because of his short comings he decides that his son will be the best and train them from day one. Some parents put sports wallpaper in the infants room and some get them miniature sports items planting the seed early in the kids life. As they grow they sign them up for teams and camps. Later they may even send them to personal trainers to get an edge on the competition. What was once a one season sport becomes a year round sport with a travel team. Many kids push themselves because they think it is what they want but in truth they haven't experienced anything else. After pursuing the sports dreams of their fathers they get to a point when they realize its not them and they quit. Looking back on it they regret all time they lost and amount of life that was stolen by the sport. This is why i believe you should wait until your kids are old enough to choose what they like and pursue it because they like it.
I read the story about David and Deandra's 22 month old "super kid" and agree with it in some ways. I like the idea of teaching Spanish to a young child when they are still impressionable. At that age they are like a sponge, absorbing everything anyone does. It might be a little to early at 22 months though. I don't agree with the food rules they set. I believe that meat is essential for everyone. Without meat, I think, people grow weak. It's just not healthy. I also don't agree with the parents decision on not feeding Madelyn refined sugar. In some ways, even though it's not the greatest thing for your body, you still need it. I'm impartial to diets where certain food groups are cut out of your life. I also hate the fact Deandra has only spent two hours without her daughter. When Madelyn goes to preschool, she won't be able to handle being without her mom. I mean you don't have to never spend time with your children, but give yourself and your child a break.
I think that trying to live through your child is wrong, although having the chance to raise a child might seem to a parent like a second chance to live their life and their dreams. Also, every parent of course wants their child to succeed, but pushing him or her to much can only cause problems. It's probably better for the child to grow up normally so they can fit in with others. One of the Dr. Phil articles tells how musical prodigy Barry was more often picked on than praised for his amazing musical talents. Also, some may argue that the talents of these superstar kids were created by the parents, leaving no unique creativity in the child. I think in many people's opinions, it is much more impressive if a normally-raised child achieves great accomplishments than if a "super-kid" does. This shows that the child is independent, and he himself has the talent and ability, not his parents. Also, the child will probably be easily accepted among his peers, and his talents will be appreciated and admired by others. Parents usually mean well, but sometimes things just go askew.
I think that these parents who are being pushy towards their kids are not helping their child become his or her own person. This in a sense, as stated on the blog, almost like a poison, which affects the child’s future. Parents do, unfortunately, have some say in what their child will become, but for the most part, the child must decide for him or herself what he or she wants to be. The parent is certainly welcome, and expected to be supportive of the child regardless of that child’s career choice. I feel that the child has the God-given right to choose his or her own path in life, and that the parents are not entitled to raise or program their child to do what ever they want. If I was raised to play Ice Hockey, and I can’t even skate, how do you think I would feel about that, I would never play, and my parents would be upset. This is why in the cases of Dr. Phil, the children should be able to make their own choices, and if they should choose their current lifestyle, they should carry on as they were.
These parents have gone way too far. They need to let their children live their own lives. They have no right to try and brainwash their children, making their children meet their standards. Some of these overbearing parents sicken me. They are so focused on their children becoming superstars, they forget about the feelings of their child. These parents rob their children of their childhood. They destroy their kids’ potential future by pushing them over the limit. The parents raising a genius did everything in their power to make the child smarter. The parents raising a musical prodigy had high expectations of their child before he was even born. They named him Barry, after the musical legend, Barry Manilow. They made him do something he didn’t want to do. They forced him to love music. The child doesn’t even believe his parents are overbearing. All the special treatment given to him is probably what made him feel this way. A couple raises their baby as a sports fanatic. They give him special treatment, make him watch sports, and read sports-related magazines. The boy is eight months old, for crying out loud! If these parents continue to spoil their children, the children will be unfit for adulthood.
When parents start pushing their kids at a young age to do something the child usually ends up resenting their parents in the end. I understand parents have their children best interests at heart, but I believe that some parents go about it in the wrong way. For instance, in one of the Dr. Phil article with the little boy JJ, his mom even said she would be very disappointed in her son if he is not interested in playing sports. By putting pressure on JJ as he grows up he will feel obligated to play sports regardless if he wants to or not. I believe parents should wait until their children are old enough to make their own decisions on what they want to do, with a little advice from their parents of course. I’m a strong believer of doing what ever makes you happy even if that something does not please other people. A person needs to do their own thing if that makes them happy.
One specific case comes to mind when the topic of overdoing roles as a parent pops up. To save face I’ll withdrawal real names in my tale. One of my friends when I was younger, around the age of 12, had been named John. John hadn’t been the most talented baseball player on our 12 year old all-star team, but when it came to effort he went 110% and people had respected that. I think John had known that his future calling in life was not going to involve being a pro sport athlete. He just played baseball, basketball and football for fun. His dad had a different perception of things though. John would be practicing catching behind the plate for 4 hours on a Saturday afternoon with his dad one on one when all his other friends (including me) would be having fun. His dad made him go to 2-3 lessons a week also one on one to improve his ‘skills’. After a while this got tiring and pretty soon John had lost interest in mostly everything that his dad got involved in. Maybe in his dad’s heart he was just trying to do what is best for his kid, but actually that wasn’t the case at all with John. It had been hurting John’s real life the whole time until one day he just flat out quit sports all in all.
Drew Lawrence Mink Red
I have heard of a lot of instances with parents gone too far, and I even know some kids that are in that position. For example, I used to know a kid who went to Newark high school. He was an incredible lacrosse player, maybe one of the best in the state. His father was a big supporter of the team and after every game would talk to his son, sometimes yelling at him. His father pushed him so hard to be good, and I often saw the kid crying after the games. Last I heard of him he was enlisted in the marines, no longer playing lacrosse. Perhaps this is an instance of his father pushing him too far.
I think the articles about the 22-month-old girl, Madelyn, and the 8-month-old boy JJ are really sad. Both these parents are so senseless and idiotic in what their doing with their children. I think spending so much money and sacrficing so much in their family so that their child can be a "superkid" is completely ridiculous. Everything they're doing with their daughter could potentially be extremely dangerous. They shouldn't make their daughter do anything that could be life-threatening or just something she doesn't want. I also dissagree with the family who is forcing their baby to be an athlete. They aren't giving the baby a choice. They shouldn't force their son to do anything. This child won't be able to make a decisions in his life because his parents already made them for him. I think it's really sad to see how controlling parents are and i feel bad for both of these children.
I know of a very pushy parent. He is the father of a kid who plays soccer with me. He is new to the team and I think his name is Andre. His father is just too overbearing and overwhelming. He watches every single practice, which is okay, but he always criticizes Andre every time he makes a little mistake. This always reminds me of how my father would do the same thing to me when I was younger. My father eventually stopped nagging me when I stood up to him and told him to calm down during a practice. He seemed very embarrassed when I said it because everyone heard me, but he learned a good lesson that day. As soon as I get to know Andre well enough, I intend to talk with him about his father because it is clearly distracting him. Hopefully my advice will help Andre and his relationship with his father. Andre's father unfortunately just gets in the way of practices as well when he yells at his son and embarrasses him. Andre goes to a very challenging school as well. I really hope that his father is not too bad about Andre's schoolwork or else Andre will never get to have any fun. Soccer should be a time for physical and mental release from school, but Andre has to treat it like another job because of his father. His father just seems to hold him back from his true potential as a soccer player and more importantly as a person.
Just like Dr. Rappaccini in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Rappaccini’s Daughter, I feel many parents have “injected” their children with “poison” that makes it nearly impossible for them to live in the real world. Many parents want their children to be “the best of the best,” so they start pushing their children at very young ages. Because of the rising competition, many parents feel the need to pressure their children; but is the pressure too much for the children to handle? As seen in some cases, the children are getting forced into something they may not even want to participate in. Also, some cases result in children having trouble adapting to living in the real world. These children have been raised to focus on this one thing and have not been subjected to any other situations. These children have been “sucked in,” usually by default, and may never have a chance to experience the real world.
Sometimes in the lives of young people their parents go too far. When I was going through Little League I played with tons of other kids whose parents were always looming right next to the fence and not give their children a mental break. The most memorable part of playing sports when I was younger would definitely be on the baseball field in spring eating hot dogs in the dugout without a care in the world. The most terrible thing that could have happened to me would’ve been if I had a parent constantly yelling and breaking my focus while they were embarrassing me. Parents in some cases ruin their children’s interest in sports to the point that a kid may have real talent in a certain sport but are always so worried that their parents may do something that embarrasses them they may chose to not play that sport. Sports are an opportunity for young people to become outgoing and learn their limits parents should just lay back and enjoy watching their children grow and develop as people and maybe even talented athletes. Parents overall are usually just wanting their children to believe.
My father is a prime example of one of these parents. He was an All-American baseball player when he was in college. Naturally he wanted me to play baseball just like him. He pushed me to be better then everyone else to the point where I was. But once i was better than the other kids, none of them liked me enough to want to play with me. Baseball took up my whole life and I began to hate it. I eventually quit and took up a sport I learned by myself, basketball. I grew to love basketball and have been playing it ever since. I even played JV for the St. Mark's Spartans this year. Although I never played baseball again, I do understand why my father did it. All he wanted was for me to the best at everything I did. Parents just have to help kids deside what they want to do, not do it for them.
Many parents try to live their lives through their children. They might not do it as much as parents who have made it in the headlines and who have talked to Dr. Phil, but they still push their children too far. My aunt is an example of one of these parents. My cousin is really athletic, and when she was young she started to do gymnastics. Of course, like most young kids, she started the sport to have fun and enjoy herself. The older she got, the more time she had to spend practicing and training, and the more competive it got. My aunt pushed her so hard and made her practice so much that my cousin ended up not enjoying herself with the sport anymore. She even injured herself so many times she had to stop doing gymnastics. Parents need to take a step back and let their kids make choices on their own. They can encourage their kids and help them, but it is not their lives. Pushing your kid to far results in nothing good. My cousin started off doing something she loved and ended up hating that same thing.
I have no personal or related incidences with parents pusing their children to be overachievers, but I definitely have something to say about the Dr. Phil links. First off, I am a complete sports fantatic. I absolutely love basketball, football, and baseball, and I'm pretty decent at playing all three. But the thing is, my love for the spprts did not come from anyone, and no one pushed me to feel so passionate about playing them, especially my parents. I never thought parents could be so insane, but after reading the Dr. Phil article on David and Deandra raising their 22-month-old daughter Madelyn, I was clearly proven wrong. Spending thousands of dollars on Baby Einstein videos, bathing her in purified water, and teaching her spanish and sign language before she turns two is completely irrational. Forcing your husband to sleep on the couch just so your baby is getting the proper care may be the most ridiculous thingI've ever heard. The sad thing is, these are not the only parents treating their children as if they are a God. More often than not, parents acting in such ways do so because of their own lives. They somehow failed in being the perfect child their parents dreamed them being and are now making sure their children do not encounter the same failure. Parents must understand it is not their lives they are dealing with, they cannot force decisions upon their children, they can only influence them.
I chose to do this journal entry on a story I recently learned about in my history class. A father was vicariously living through his son. Since the day he was born, his father did everything possible to try to make his son the best football player in the United States. The father used to be a football player himself, but could not make it into the pros or even college. He still wanted this dream of his to happen, but through the life of his son. When the boy was eight months old, the father started having him lift very light weights. The boy was still an infant! The father wanted him to start athleticism as soon as possible. The child was never allowed to eat sweets, pizza, french fries, or any of those kinds of foods. The boy wasn't even allowed to eat cake at a birthday party, or even on his own birthday! By the time the boy was old enough to really start working out and lifting weights, the father had him running and lifting seven days a week. Although the boy did become a great football player and made it to the NFL, i do not agree with what the father did at all. Just because this was the father's dream, the boy didn't get to live a normal life.
A couple years back there was a boy from my team name Simon. He dad was completely over the top. He made simon wrestle every day of the week, all year round. He would wrstle in a tournament every weekend. The young boy's whole life was wrestling. He was not allowed to hang out with friends or anything if it didnt involve wrestling. This all started because he dad made the Russian Olympic wrestling team, but could not compeat to to the boycott. He pushed Simon so hard. For his eighth grade summer, Simon was forced to move to Russia and train with a man he never met before. He even had to live with him. Simon ended up quiting the sport right before the season his freshmen year.
I would like to reply to the case of the 13 year old Barry. First off I think the parents are crazy for being so obsessed with Barry Manilow. I do not agree with how they raised their child. Although they denied repeatedly that they never forced their child to do anything thing else I think that they did still make all their son's decisions. When you think about you don't really have to force a three year old to do something if they show no opposition to it. I think them sending him to piano lessons and exposing him to their fantasy world of obsession was really just a covert way of programing him to eat sleep and breath the essence that is Barry Manilow. If his parents hadn't been there to steer him to a piano and carry him around like a gift to the world would Barry really be where he is? I think not. I think the parents should take full responsibility for the taunting and for Barry's lack of social interactions. Their isolation of that poor child is what doomed him from the beginning.
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