Winter Storm Activity

There are plenty of things that you will certainly hear when a snowstorm is predicted, but only one thing is for certain. No one knows exactly how much of the frosted flakes are going to fall. And that makes the pre-storm talk even more exciting.

At school, principals fret over cancellations and postponements, coaches over practices and games. Teachers give snow plans to their students in case school is cancelled; inevitably, students, so caught up in the snow spirit, don't bother to complete them. After all, a day off is a day OFF.

Watching the weather forecasts, you'll hear familiar language like the cold air is in place, rain/snow line, probability of precipitation, snow event, nor'easter, weather advisory, storm watch, storm warning, wind chill, black ice, etc. You'll witness metereologists performing elementary school science experiments like sticking rulers into the ground to measure snow depths or sliding in the street to show you the icy road conditions. Etc. You'll watch fascinating scenes at the local supermarket of people buying eggs, bread, milk, and toilet paper (these items are called storm staples, by the way). You'll learn about the jobs of the intrepid State D.O.T. Plow Kings--their use of brine, calcium chloride, their plowing methods, their long hours on the roads, their pride in their jobs, saying they'll do whatever it takes, their pleas for drivers to stay off the roads until they've cleared them, etc.

Etc. Does anyone find these storm reports remotely interesting? If you do, then you really NEED a vacation. Take a week.

If you don't . . . then . . . during the next major storm when the rest of the immediate world shuts down watching their TVs and finds ingenious ways to use up all of that milk, eggs, and bread (the toilet paper doesn't have an expiration date) . . . treat yourself to a long, aimless walk to nowhere. Only begin to return home when you sense you're enjoying yourself too much or getting just a tad too cold, whatever comes first. That will make the walk home easier, too, knowing that there awaits hot chocolate, a cozy living room, a good book, or some friendly conversation. If these items are in short supply, then treat yourself to a maximum of five minutes of Special Storm Coverage. Watching the wackos will provide proof that your walk in a winter wonderland, really, wasn't worthless at all.